


Easy Enough

by commander_hot_pants



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Pregnancy, Romance, Unplanned Pregnancy, accidentally falling in love, fertility/infertility tw, sex to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-22 23:17:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14319240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commander_hot_pants/pseuds/commander_hot_pants
Summary: It took Shepard a while to realize they weren’t as dissimilar as she’d initially thought. They carried their baggage differently but they had about the same amount. They both drank the same liquor, they loved the same kind of shot guns, and both rolled their eyes at the Cerberus bullshit.They both liked to be bitten more than they liked to be licked.





	Easy Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I really wanted to write something out of my comfort zone and completely different then my usual work. This actually came along really easily, . Big thank you to [Vorcha_Girl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vorcha_Girl/pseuds/Vorcha_Girl) for pre reading and inspiring this fic. 
> 
> Trigger & Squick warnings for Fertility/Infertility and pregnancy.

The first time was a mistake. Shepard can admit that, she's an adult and she's made mistakes before.

She'd been in a delirious state and when she made eye contact with him across the mess and she knew he was the bad thing she needed. He'd held her gaze, quirked one upper lip at her in a smirk and barely nodded his head towards the elevator.

She rose from her seat, felt rather then heard him follow her, they stood eyes forward in silence the ride to her cabin.

As soon as they stepped over the threshold, into her private cabin they were no longer Shepard and Massani.

They were animals.

They ripped their own clothes off between kisses and bites, he lifted her at the last moment and threw her onto the bed, she let him. She dug her fingernails into his back and pulled him close, he let her. Neither of them took control, they traded it.

Zaeed was, like she’d expected, a selfish lover. He was not afraid to position her, to pull and push her to get the angles he wanted. She wasn’t any better, selfish and demanding when it was her turn.

He surprised her by initiation a second round, eating her out until her throat ached from screaming.

He didn't try to stay the night, didn't say anything as he left. Didn't mention anything when they saw each other the next day, not even a knowing nod or a suggestive smile. It was back to business as usual.

And that was fine. Better than fine. Perfect.

She felt him in her body for days, laid in her bed and touched herself to the ache, to the marks, to the memories. For a while she was satisfied.

But it didn't last long.

The next time she sought him out. She found him in his usual spot, opened her mouth to say something but it was unnecessary.

_"You wanna do it again?"_

She just had to nod. They were in the elevator, they were in her cabin, he was inside of her.

He used his weight to his advantage and this time she didn't try to trade control. She laid back and let him have his way.

Shepard stretched her arms above her head, Zaeed caught her wrists in his hand. He held her. They looked at each other, waited.

She bit his lower lip.

He growled.

He pressed her knees to her shoulders. She came twice and her toes curled so hard the instep of her foot cramped.

The next time she took control. She saw him on her way out of the med lab and it was barely a moment of eye contact before he was following her up to her cabin.

She pinned him on the couch, pressed his shoulders to the back and rode him. He didn't struggle, he didn't need to.

 _"Do you want to talk about this?"_ She had her pants half on and she didn't know how to respond. It was fair to ask, people seldomly slept together three times by accident.

_"No."_

_"Alright."_

 It was that easy. Business as usual.

Garrus was looking at her differently after Sidonis. Sidonis had died, wasn’t that what Garrus wanted? Wasn't revenge what he craved? What he had demanded? So why did his shoulders slack and his mandibles flare and his eyelid droop when she talked to him.

It took several conversations to realize he wasn't angry or stressed or on edge-- the opposite really. And she didn't know how to handle that.

He was a friend-- he’d been a friend for so long and it was no secret Shepard was short on friends. She needed him like that, as a friend. And misdirecting his suggestions was exhausting.

_My Cabin, 15?_

_20\. I'll bring whiskey._

And in 20 minutes he was there, promised ambrosia in hand.

It wasn't a rush this time. She didn’t know why but it didn’t feel urgent. They poured the whiskey into two glasses, took sips between anecdotes and gave each other time to laugh. For a while Shepard wasn't even sure if sex was what they were there for.

But if he wasn't there for sex what could he possibly be in her cabin for?

Eventually he leaned towards her and captured her lips. It was a sudden gesture but it felt slow, it settled through her body and down into her stomach.

_Butterflies._

And it was leisurely this time. They kept their bodies together, skin pressed against skin at every available inch. Zaeed did not thrust into her like an animal as he had before, Shepard did not scream or swear.

It was quiet and when it was over he stayed inside of her until the sweat between them cooled and their hearts stilled. They fell asleep leaning into each other, and she woke up with his arm tightened around her waist.

Zaeed woke up slowly, a smile spreading across his face.

_"Morning beautiful."_

Their affections didn't move past kissing. The back of his fingers lightly grazed the soft skin of Shepard's collarbone, it was nearly an hour before he left the cabin.

 _"Do you want to talk about this?"_ She had asked him this time, while they were alone in the mess with their two fistfuls of whiskey and the quiet hum of the Normandy. He leaned to her and caught her lower lip with his.

_"Nah."_

She hummed. Had Chakwas not made eye contact with her through the glass a second later she would have had him right there.

For a while it was easy and more and more of Zaeed’s trips to her cabin were for pleasure that didn’t involve sex.

It didn't feel like the end goal anymore, she had no idea why. Of course, he still bent her over every free surface of her cabin, pulled his hands into the hallows of her hips and made her see stars on a regular basis.

It took Shepard a while to realize they weren’t as dissimilar as she’d initially thought. They carried their baggage differently but they had about the same amount. They both drank the same liquor, they loved the same kind of shot guns, and both rolled their eyes at the Cerberus bullshit.

They both liked to be bitten more than they liked to be licked.

 _"You're not still on your first drink, are yeh?"_ She wasn’t, she couldn't be empty for more than a few seconds before someone was refilling her. The heaviness to Zaeed’s eyes told her he was about the same.

Shepard shook her head and plopped down on the couch beside him, sober enough to keep her distance but drunk enough to make it a challenge.

 _"I can't believe we fucking made it,"_ He raised his bottle to his lip, shaking his head. She wasn't sure she believed it either, through the Omega 4 relay and back again. Not a soul lost.

 _"I wouldn’t have thought anyone could do it,"_ He pointed a finger at her, squinted his bad eye closed as he focused, _"But I knew you could."_

 _"You’re drunk, old man."_ He raised a smirk at her like he was challenging her to continue down that path. She exhaled a laugh and glanced around at the room full of crew all drinking checked if any of them were looking towards her. When she was sure none of them were- and only when she was very sure- Shepard took his hand from the back of the couch, lowered it between them, and interlocked their fingers.

Her heart was beating in her ears so loud she could barely hear the noise around her. Zaeed smiled at her and had she not had the alcohol to blame she might have mistaken him for love sick.

She suddenly knew she was, actually, completely, and irrefutably in trouble.

_In something. Thats for sure._

Things didn't change like she thought they might. As she tied up loose ends and tried to piece together her future things between them remained constant.

Until Bahak. After Bahak she was manic.

She struck a deal with Hackett, the crew would go free if she brought herself in. She was trading her life away for the lives of everyone else on the ship. She wanted Zaeed to run, tuck his criminal record in his pocket and disappear into the terminus system again. He disagreed.

 _"I didn’t fucking ask you, Massani."_ Her teeth were barred like the batarians she had left to die good she had killed them herself, _"I’ve given you an order and you will carry it out."_ Zaeed’s eyes narrowed and he rose one finger to lecture her. He was more angry then surprised, his spine stretching out every inch to remind her of who was taller.

 _"I don't like it when you talk to me like that."_ The stoic tone of his voice did reflect in her but it did not disburse her fury. _"Y’dont want to hear my opinion you can have me dragged off the goddamn ship but I ain't gonna leave you willingly."_

 _"If you give yourself up with the crew, "she_ kept her voice as level as she could being as she was seriously entertaining the idea of hauling him off the ship, _"it will take the Alliance seconds to figure out who you are and put you behind bars and you will_ rot _for the rest of your life. Do you understand?"_

 _"So, what then? You’ve got a monopoly on martyrdom all the sudden?"_ Zaeeds voice was less calm but at least he’d let his body shift back into a familiar structure. _"You’re gonna live in a high surveillance Alliance security cell until you die and I’ll be damned if I don’t stay with you as long as I can."_

It hit her like a punch to the gut and the anger drained out of her.

 _"What does that mean?"_ Silence filled the cabin and weighed them both down. He touched her jaw, pulled her close and kissed her so deliberately she couldn't have possibly misunderstood. They didn't need to use the word, they both knew it was there.

 _"You really want me to go, don't you?"_ She traced another circle onto his chest, watching the fine hairs there part in her wake. The sweat had dried between their skin and their breathing stilled. She considered lying to him, letting him stay with her until the last moment so at least they’d have a last goodbye.

 _"I think you should go."_ She felt rather than heard him sigh.

It was a few days before the ship docked, first at Omega then on the Citadel. Zaeed chose Omega, a wise choice in Shepard’s mind. He’d spent every spare second with her since deciding to leave, being as close as he could without them disturbing the crew. It wasn’t until the Normandy had formally docked that they talked about it.

He’d brought wine instead of whiskey that night, they’d spoken more than they’d fucked. They both knew it was the last time.

For a second- just a second- she thought about running. Live out the rest of her days in the terminus system doing merc work and burying her name. Zaeed's connections would be more than enough to get them their first few jobs and from there it would be smooth sailing.

Jack could come, Garrus could come too if he'd be willing to give merc life another shot. They'd get by alright like that.

Of course, that would mean every member of the Normandy crew left behind would be taken in. That was the deal, everyone else walked in exchange for Shepard. Joker, Chakwas, everyone in lock down for who knows how long because she ran away.

She leaned into him, cheek against his chest and inhaled deep. Zaeed didn't smell like a garage today, no grease or dirt or dust. He smelt clean, fresh even. It could have been a hint of aftershave on him, but she’d rather not know for sure. She wanted to pretend that he’d cleaned up for her. It would be a sweet, uncharacteristic gesture for him.

 _"You should get down to the airlock,"_ She had to say it firmly enough to stop her thoughts from traveling, _"we’re docked."_ He grunted, pressed a kiss to her hairline and slowly began to rise.

She watched him dress, taking his sweet time to adjust the finished outfit. He took his duffle in one hand, straightened his posture and headed to the cabin door.

 _"Shepard,"_ He half turned back to her, posture carefully calculated, _"I love you."_

It didn't sound as abnormal as she thought. Zaeed Massani, hard to kill merc with such a soft voice and a humble statement. It filled her, it felt good.

 _"I love you too."_ He nodded, hoisted his duffle over his shoulder and left.

She felt his absence for weeks.  

When she sat in her new room-- an Alliance holding cell dressed to look like an apartment-- all she thought about was him. The way his hands, calloused and rough, felt along the curve of her waist. The weight of his well-built body pinning her down. The chills she got as he watched her from across the room. She wondered where he was.

Then quite suddenly forever became not so long.

Shepard hated being right all the time.

There wasn't time to wonder where he was during the day, and her nights were so packed with terrors she couldn't be lonely then either. She thought, once or twice in passing, who might be in his bed right now, who had gotten to worm their way into his head. Only sometimes when she woke up early in the morning and thought for a second she felt an arm slung over her did she let herself miss him again.

When they saw each other again she managed not to throw herself into his arms, it was business the whole time. He couldn't join her, she wouldn't beg him. The galaxy was at war, everyone-- even Zaeed-- was doing what they could.

He found them a private corner on the docks.

 _"Home sweet home."_ There was barely a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he threw a grey blanket over a crate.

At first, she’d sat on the crate, eyes daring the curtain hiding them to open while his tongue assaulted her neck and lapped her collarbones. He pushed a hand past her belt and slid his fingers inside of her, thumb firm on her clit as he kept her near the edge. He tore her shirt open, licked her breasts.

Zaeed teased her, her pants down at her ankles, his cock just brushing her opening. He’d press in just enough to hear her moan before pulling away.

 _"Fuck-- Massani!"_ She glared over her shoulder at him, he was smiling. There was no point in ordering him, he wouldn't listen. She grit her teeth, held her breath and waited until finally - _finally-_ he was inside of her. Once he was inside he held nothing back, she covered her mouth to keep her screams contained. It like the first time all over again.

Once she had the apartment, they managed two more rendezvous. Against the window, over the bar, in every bed and on every couch. They made the most of their visits, stretched them as long as they could.

 _"You wanna talk about this?"_ It was his turn after all. Shepard sighed, ran her fingers over his arms and shrugged.

_"Do you?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yeah._ " It was surly too quick for him to be-- _Oh--_ Apparently there had been ample time. He pressed his hardened length between her legs, _"I like this."_

 _"I- fuck- I like it too."_ He rocked slowly, just enough movement to make her ache.

 _"You like it,"_ long pull, hard thrust, _"I love it."_ She gasped, dug her fingernails into his shoulder blades and groaned.

 _"I love you."_ He held still so long she was forced to look at him, he was smirking.

 _"Say that again."_ She thought he might move again, force her to make noise. But he didn't, he held still, waited, lent her time. When she didn’t conjure words, _"Cause I love you."_

It was so real after that. Terrifying but real and visceral and easy.

And she started to dream about someday. Someday where the two of them could just live in the apartment on the citadel, look out at the galaxy they saved and spend evenings curled in each other's body. The two of them could finish off a bottle of whiskey a night, two packs of bacon a day. They’d figure it out, live comfortably, or if not comfortable at least they’d live with each other.

And then something started feeling different.

Headaches at weird times, back aches Chawkwas couldn't explain. Until she could.

 _"Shepard,"_ Chakwas’ voice had an edge on it she wasn't sure about, it wasn't the nag to get more sleep or the sigh of another bruise, it was soft, _"there's no easy way to ask this,"_ Chakwas held a small pricker out to her, _"I want you to take a pregnancy test."_

The air stilled, a coldness crept up her body, _"You know that's not possible,"_ Hadn't been, ever. Second exposure to eezo they figure, though she’d never know for sure. Those parts had never worked, she was incapable- unable to- impossible.

 _"I know."_ She gestured with the pricker as she stepped forward, _"I can't make you take one, they’re not considered standard, you have to consent."_ Shepard looked at the pricker for a long time, wanted to throw it across the med lab, wanted it to implode.

She reached forward and pressed her finger against the receiver. A sharp pain and three beeps, _"How long...?"_

_"It takes about half an hour. I’ll know by the time you’re back."_

The tightness at the base of her spine stayed the entire mission and by the time she was back on the Normandy it had spread down to her knees and up through her shoulders. No one had been hit badly during the mission, so she had to walk to medbay alone.

Better, better to make it alone.

She knew the answer before Chakwas said anything.

 _"It's impossible, Karen."_ Her whisper barely escaped past a blockage in her throat. _"You know…"_

 _"You came back from the dead,"_ She didn't bother to push the data pad into her hands, _"and you’re calling this impossible?"_

She stared at her body in the mirror. No visible bulge, no change at all yet.

_What the fuck do you do now?_

She told him. That was the only choice she had. She had to tell him.

For a long moment he didn't respond, didn't seem to know how. He didn't accuse her of anything, just thought. Eventually he asked if she knew if it was a boy or a girl, she didn't.

 _"Well, if it's a girl we’ll name her Bethany."_ He nodded thoughtfully. _"After my mum."_ He put his arms out, she instinctively walked into him. With him sitting, and her standing his face pressed against her stomach, kissed her stomach twice and inhaled _. "I always wanted to be a father, thought I’d be good at it."_

_"Are you sure this is alright?"_

It was. They were.

It was just hours later, after an unexplainable experience, with friends gathered round her in the new apartment with alcohol flowing that it came up publicly.

 _"Not drinking, Shepard?_ " Garrus nudged her shoulder with his as he settled into to the seat next to her.

_"Someone's got to take care of you lot."_

_"You have to try a bit of this wine!"_ Traynor was pressing a glass into her hand, the previous two drinks had worn the specialists need for personal space significantly.

 _"She won't drink any,"_ Their eyes all went to Javik, _"she’s pregnant."_ The eyes were all on her and Shepard felt her spine stiffen and her mouth dry. _"Primitives can’t even smell each other's pheromones. Pathetic."_

The area around them stilled and only shouts from the kitchen dared intrude the air.

 _"Shepard?"_ She wasn't sure if it was Jack or Tali prompting her with her eyes locked on the floor between her feet. After a moment’s thought she exhaled laugh and shrugged.

Around her, Traynor, Javik, Garrus, Tali, Jack, and James hung on her words.

 _"Yeah, it's true. I’m pregnant."_ It brought a smile to her face she wasn't quite expecting and she saw it spread to everyone else.

_"Like, with a baby?"_

_"No, James, with a pyjak."_

The drinks continued to flow. Tali said she was sure it would be a little girl and Traynor was sure it was a little boy. James spoke enthusiastically about a nursery on the Normandy.

 "So, who did it?" She’d anticipated the question but she hadn’t anticipated the guessing game that came after. She blamed the cross species guesses on the alcohol.

 _"What are we talking about over here?"_ Zaeed asked as he came around the corner, favoring his left leg like he always did after the booze relaxed his pride away.

 _"Shepard’s knocked up."_ Jack supplied as she nudged her elbow into his ribs playfully. Before Shepard could run defense, there was a silencing glint to the merc’s eye.

 _"Oh, are we telling people about that?"_ The burst of laughter might have continued on if either of them had joined. Their sobering quiet slowly brought the group to center.

 _"Wait, actually?"_ The giggles had turned awkward as Tali spoke. It took several confirmations until the awkward long stares turned into accepting nods. Apparently, they’d been better hiding it then Shepard had thought, though Kasumi did appear briefly enough to announce she's known from the beginning.  

 _"Two years,"_ Shepard said with astonishment when asked how long the two of them had been together, _"I guess."_ ‘Together’ needed to be qualified but everyone was drunk and she didn't want to get into it further at the moment.

Grunt offered to drink her share when he found out and Wrex told her any child of hers would be welcome in clan Urdnot. Everyone accepted it for the moment and they went on. For a while the acceptance was so universal she let herself dream that it would always be this way-- that she was really about to have a child raised with the crew, her own little military brat.

It wasn't until she strapped herself into armor that she remembered how hard it was going to be. How lucky she’d have to be.

 _"Zaeed?"_ The com link crackled and popped, whatever link he had called over was feeling the effects of war. But the static was worth bearing, she wanted to hear his voice. She wanted to have him with her but that wasn't an option.

The call back to Earth had come. It was going to be over soon. Just in time, frankly. Shepard wasn't sure if the Alliance made maternity armor.

Finally, a distorted face appeared, Zaeed looked tired. His greying hair was slicked back on one side with a dark liquid she couldn't quite identify with the cam quality as it was. She hoped it wasn't blood, _"Can you see me?"_

 _"Clear enough."_ She’d forgotten how much she liked his accent, _"What is it, love?"_ She smiled, moved the cam downwards. _"Oh. Look at that."_ She was certainly round, especially between her hips where a distinct curve was forming. She’d been admiring it for a while.

 _"Can you feel it kick?"_ She laughed.

" _No, not even close."_ She moved the cam backup in time to see him smiling, _"Chakwas said she might have heard a second heartbeat, couldn’t tell for sure. I guess it's harder to ultrasound biotics, we probably won't know for another month."_

 _"Second heartbeat?"_ Both his eyebrows raised, _"Twins?"_

 _"Maybe."_ She took a deep breath, _"Zaeed. The Normandy is headed to earth."_ She saw the realization run down him.

 _"Back to Earth?"_ Neither of them knew what to say, they both knew what was waiting for Shepard on Earth.

_"Stay linked up. I’ll contact you every second I can."_

_"Shepard,"_ The way he said it made her want to stand at attention and collapse in his arms at the same time, _"I better see you again."_

She took a deep, slow breath, _"I'll see you soon, Massani."_  


End file.
